Strengths Finder

Markus (no relation to Lindsay) Buckingham’s book “Now Discover Your Strengths” is based on the premise that by focusing on leveraging your core strengths, you’ll be better off/feel better/smell better than if you try to improve weaknesses. Dandy idea.

In the book is a code on the inside of the cover that lets you take the “Clifton StrengthsFinder assessment.” Once. Thus, the library copy won’t work for this purpose. I’m just saying. And, if you’re like my VP of Sales and don’t like your first result, you can buy another, take the test, and donate the “like new” book for a tax write-off. He’s just saying.

After providing a bunch of demographic information “for research purposes,” you’re presented with a bunch of questions in the form of two statements and a relative ranking of which one is more pertinent to you. Some examples:

On some questions, there’s an obvious preference — like in #1. Others, there may be either equal repulsion or enthusiasm. They try to mix it up a little bit, leading to a choice between broccoli and nudge nudge. Say no more.

After the test, I was presented with my top five strengths. … and an up-sell for the opportunity to have an intern electronically conslut with me on my other 29 strengths (a mere $700). Extra super-duper special executive coaching is available, but if I have to ask, I can’t afford it.

Many strength names initially seemed to be made up words, that actually originate from late 1400s Middle English Management Consultants. For example, one of mine was “intellection.” And yes, my spelling checker is having issues with it, too. The book has a few pages describing each strength and offering motivationalesque “real world” examples from people without last names. For example:

Lauren H., [professional cat herder]: “[people presume I'm a flaming extrovert but would] be amazed to know how much time alone, how much solitude I need in order to function in public.“

Yep. That’s me. The top five seemed to fit, but the skeptic wonders how much this is like a horoscope.

Two years ago, when several of us were presented with the book to take the test, we all hoped this was an indication of company interest in future career development. Nothing happened. When asked, the Vice President of Penultimate Power said, and I quote, “It’s so the operations people know how to deal with you.” Because, you know, Bat Crazy Doris can’t fucking walk across the floor and, like, talk to me when she can relay messages through the chain of our respective Vice Presidents. I honestly think they need to add a few categories like “Volatility,” “Bat Crazitude,” and “Slackocity.”

Last month, with the organizational kerfuffle, a bunch of these books were bought to enable others to take the test so we know how to deal with them. Only this time, it’s “Strengths Finder 2.0,” the cheaper sequel. Since there was an extra copy lying around, I took the second one. The test questions are similar, but have a time constraint added to them to force you not to think too hard about whether you want meetings or bamboo splinters.

It’s been kind of fun looking at other people’s results.