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LEAN on me

El Jefe has latched onto LEAN – which he always, always writes this in caps, as if it were an acronym, persuading Cliff that it’s our salvation. Now! PANIC!

I’m not worried about LEAN. It’s like Agile, Scrum, Waterfall, Six Sigma, Jedi, and Iambic Pentameter in that it sounds great in theory and will generate a net positive, though not what the consultants advertise. It’s also interesting in that its core seven habits/principles are ones that no rational person could disagree with:

  1. Eliminate Waste
  2. Build Quality In
  3. Create Knowledge
  4. Defer Commitment
  5. Deliver Fast
  6. Respect People
  7. Optimize the Whole

For example, you’d be insane to deliberately engineer waste, unless your business is (wait for it…) sanitary engineering.  I would have a problem with respecting people whom I felt were  demonstrably incompetent or not pulling their weight.  Like the BM.  But I’d manage.

The problem is El Jefe is irrational and violates a majority of the principles above, but doesn’t know it. There has been debate among the worker bees where he falls on the scale:

Idiot < Imbecile < Moron < Feeble-minded < Retarded < Dull < Normal

If he leads this, consensus is the effort is doomed.

7 comments so far

  1. [...] Jefe wants to have a class for everyone in his organization. Right now… And at the expense of delaying commitments [...]

  2. [...] a parody on Agile Programming. Taking the lead, I suggested there must be an “Olean” methodology, with 50% more programmer, uh, [...]

  3. [...] manager to insulate them from El Jefe’s meddling. Not only is this compatible with the Lean software engineering initiative, it would likely help [...]

  4. [...] just that I really don’t need to know the details.   El Jefe, who understands none of this (but doesn’t know he doesn’t know), stood behind him for nearly ten minutes.  When Mark left, he was eager to show me his latest [...]

  5. [...] high level rationale. It was nothing that hadn’t already gone out in email: we want to adopt lean/agile/scrum; El Jefe isn’t a people manager; we don’t have a position for him. He [...]

  6. [...] El Jefe first began championing lean, his enthusiasm conjured images of a miracle weight loss diet whose results would be nothing short [...]

  7. [...] has been formed to allocate office space. Seizing upon this as an opportunity to further optimize lean, they’ve decided to put teams closer together. Everyone is on-board with being proximate. [...]

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